Be Still and Know The Lord Will Fight For You.

{originally posted in 2016}

Spiritually writing is something I really enjoy. The last two years have been so busy and I haven't been taking the time to journal about the Lord and the things He has brought us to, through, and away from like I once did. There is so much He has done in our life that I want to share and boldly proclaim His name (what our sermon was over on Sunday, actually) and hopefully, I can make more time do this. Maybe this whole no social media thing will allow me to do more writing of His little mercies and journaling our family's spiritual journey.

I feel like over the last two years, He's been teaching me to trust in Him.  After some tough (small and large) trials, I am definitely learning to lean in to His understanding over my own.

To say that Adam and I have been seriously burned in the trust department in those said two years would be an understatement.  From people that we hardly know, to the corporate world, to friends we loved so dearly and trusted with so much, we've taken blow after blow.  In a way, it's sad because we are becoming so jaded and our trust is taking so much more to be earned than ever.  In another way, I truly believe the Lord is teaching us something through our burns.  I feel like if Jesus was in human form today, he would walk right up to me and say, "Stop trusting humans and the world and start trusting Me."  {CONVICTED}

Last year with Adam's work situation, I didn't trust His plan like I should have and I felt so unsettled and at a loss of peace for months, even after resolution. It was not my finest moment of faith. Since that downward spiral otherwise known as last summer, I have been feeling my Spirit calm me while urging me even more so to be quiet and trust in Him more, even if His direction doesn't seem to match mine. I am pretty sure He was doing this last summer, too, but I could only see my ways and not His.  

I've always been quick to speak and quick to anger, but recently, every time I have wanted to speak, my Spirit has completely silenced me with, "Be still and know."  Truthfully, I think He's always been telling me that, but I am just now trusting that He really will nudge me when it's time for me to speak.

I do not know why I find it so amazing each time when I listen and tame my own words and sit still that I am able to see Him work and feel His clear direction....  Probably because I am usually so impatient and try to trust in myself to feel and find peace, but seeing and feeling that true peace coming from the Lord is just so indescribable.

Last month, one of those unexpected times of suddenly being faced with having to share a hard truth occurred.  It was not a pretty situation at all and had I not had God, I undoubtedly would have quickly and angrily shared the truth.  But there the Lord was whispering in my ear:

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10

 The Lord knew how bad I wanted to speak His truth, but my Spirit kept telling me that it wasn't time.  I suffered a little in the balance, big time actually, really wondering when He would ever, or if He would ever tell me to speak.  I just kept feeling in me that I would know when the time was right and continued being still, even though my flesh was ready to act.  I am not sure why I was so shocked when within days, in the most inopportune and unexpected time, the Lord presented the opportunity and I knew even though it was weird and awkward and totally unplanned--He had spoken and it was time to move.  When it's His time and His way, His will is done.  Absolutely incredible how God moves and I have no idea why I am always so shocked by His work.

A couple of years ago, something similar happened, desperate to seek the truth while the Lord just kept covering me with Exodus 14:14:

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." 

It seemed everywhere I turned, there was the reminder to be still and know that He was fighting for me.  When thinking back on this time in my life, I am not sure I felt it then, but now it is impossible not to be comforted in how the Lord was silently yet fiercely working.  I remember how hard it was during that season to sit back and trust in Him that we would be fought for, but we did, and a few months later, the entire situation took a turn that no one saw coming.  That dramatic, heartbreaking turn caused us to see so clearly as to why the Lord was placing Exodus 14:14 so heavily on my heart and in front of us.  God's work is simply breathtaking. 

It's so hard for me to grasp that while a situation may not unfold the way I expected it to or even how I wanted it to, that God's plan is always so much greater than mine.

He has sent me such an incredible peace through some stressful situations in the last few months and much of this peace comes from being still and allowing Him to work and reveal His truths in His time and not my own.

Maybe it's the reorganization of my priorities, maybe it's the Lord preparing me for greater use in His kingdom, maybe it's just simply me being still and knowing that He is God--whatever it is, it's from Him and it's so refreshing to wake up every day at real peace derived from fully trusting in Him, even in the broken parts of my world.

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